Spirit-filled Living

The LOVE Your Spouse Toolkit


It’s one thing to put up sweet, beautiful, romantic pictures of you and your true love. It’s quite another to love and respect your spouse when you don’t feel like the pictures look. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve been married any length of time.heart rope

I chose not to participate in the love your spouse challenge going around on Facebook. Not because I don’t love my hubby dearly, but because I wanted to respect and love him in a way he appreciates. Some guys like their pictures out in public. Mine does not, especially ones from 10 years or more ago.

So I’m sharing some ways to love your spouse when the going is rough and when it’s going great. Because behind every smiling picture is a real life marriage. A long, tough, marathon, with some fantastic moments if we put in the effort. I’m challenging and encouraging you to LOVE your spouse in the following ways.

  1. When you feel like you’re doing everything and he’s lazing around, tell him you love him and appreciate all he does! (No sarcasm allowed)
  2. In the morning, ask him if there’s anything you can help him with today. Check back with him later to see if there’s anything else.
  3. Hang out with him in his man cave. Whatever he likes to do – join him once in a while. He’ll appreciate it because he knows you have a ton of things to do and chose to spend time with him.
  4. Give him a card for no particular occasion. Write him a sweet note telling him why you appreciate him. He likes to feel loved too.
  5. When you’re feeling neglected and ignored, ask him on a date and tell him you’d love to spend some time with him. (No whining allowed)
  6. If he’s a visual guy, shower, do your hair, and put on perfume before he gets home from work, even if you have small kids at home. Of course it’s hard and won’t always happen. But you’ll feel better and he’ll be glad to see you. (No fishing for compliments!)
  7. When your feet and back ache, give him a foot or back massage. His are probably sore too.
  8. Laugh at his jokes instead of rolling your eyes. Yes, he might tell more, but laughter is the best medicine.
  9. Enjoy and initiate intimacy. Don’t act like it’s a duty or a chore. Have fun and be glad he still wants you and not another chick.
  10. When you feel like screaming at your spouse, or crying in despair, pray to love him like God loves him. Pray that God will bless your efforts and give you a deep love for your husband –  just the way he is.

I know it’s not supposed to be like this ladies. That’s why it’s called a CHALLENGE not a honeymoon. Marriage is hard word and takes endurance and patience. Yes, we can enjoy the special memories captured in charming photos. Let’s strive to also love our spouses daily in concrete ways, especially on the days when we feel the most distant and discouraged.

%22If you ever think the grass is greener on the other side of the hill… it’s time to start watering your own.”

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor. 13:4-7

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Disclaimer: This post is for the majority of women who married great men of honor who occasionally annoy, frustrate or ignore them. It is not meant to excuse or diminish cases of chronic abuse, adultery or addiction. In that case please seek a professional marriage and family therapist.


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Keeping busy at www.revelationforkids.com and www.afruitfuljourney.com